To God Be the Glory!

Well, I had another doctor appointment on Monday, so it is time for another update regarding my hand.

The doctor allowed me to quit therapy - not that he would have had much choice: I can no longer afford it in either time or fuel.  I am still supposed to keep working on it at home to try to expand range of movement, but my hand has improved so much that there are very few things that I cannot do and when I consider that I have always used my left hand almost (but not quite) interchangeably with my right hand, there is virtually nothing that I cannot do (except, of course, for those things for which I lacked the skill/ability prior to my injury - such as roping, automotive repair, shoeing horses, etc. - because if I don't put this explanatory note in here, my brother [smart aleck that he is] is bound to come up with some totally random activity that I *should* now do).

Indeed, I probably should have quit therapy some time ago - while therapy definitely still helps my hand (especially when it goes through those phases of being a bit painful), it has been quite a while since I have considered it to be absolutely necessary - for months I have been able to use my hand to do anything I needed to do (except open that dreadful apple cider vinegar bottle)... Or at least I have got it done anyway, I don't always pay attention to how much I use my left hand - when I start to pay attention, I discover I use my left hand ever so much more than I thought.

Making the decision to quit therapy was one of the hardest things that I have ever done.  I have long since considered therapy as the favorite part(s) of my week - I have made new, dear friends.  My heart aches as I sit here contemplating my week without any trips to Twin.  As I walked out their doors for the last time Monday, I left a bit of my heart behind.  I shall always be grateful that God sent me their way; I have been blessed to know them (and I intend to keep in touch).

A wonderful Saviour is Jesus my Lord...

He taketh my burden away, 

He holdeth me up and I shall not be moved

He giveth me strength as my day...

I am so grateful to God for his kindness, mercy, answers to prayers, and healing.  As I believe I have mentioned before, my hand has improved and regained more use than anyone (doctors, nurses, therapists -- all of whom have seen quantities of injuries) ever thought possible originally (when considering the severity of the injury).

You may recall that for a while now we have been waiting on the progress of my hand to see if two additional surgeries would be necessary.  The first was a scar removal surgery; the second a tendon repair surgery.

The scar removal surgery is a dreadful sounding surgery and might not even add significant improvement.  Obviously, it is a last resort - if therapy does not work.  This particular surgery was originally talked about for my index finger which seemed to have gotten the worst of it - at least in terms of movement/scar tissue (I have a theory about that, but I won't explain it here - also, I am not a doctor so my theory may be entirely wrong).  The idea of this surgery was more or less dropped months ago as my finger continued to improve.  At this point, even though I don't have full range of motion in my index finger, there is enough movement to render this surgery impracticable.  Most likely as time goes by and I continue to use my hand/finger (and if I remember to do my finger exercises- for about 6 months I managed to do really well at keeping up with my exercises... But then the flood/spring/summer happened and I kinda lost momentum), it will improve still more.  I am thankful to God for His healing that has made this surgery unnecessary; I am thankful for a doctor who was willing to wait and see rather than rushing into a surgery; and I am thankful for therapists who are skilled and knowledgeable in the restoration of hands and who really care about their patients.

The second surgery we have discussed has now become necessary.  The tendon in my middle finger was significantly shredded.  Unfortunately, tendons don't exactly regrow themselves.   However, the tendon was not entirely severed and I have always (at least since the doctor pulled the pin... which was actually NOT awesome) been able to lift (only very slightly) the joint of my finger.  This fact also has always astounded the doctor as well - there is so little tendon left that he does not understand how I can move it at all.

But even so, he has again been willing to wait and see - there is no point in jumping into a surgery that might have proved to be unnecessary.  Because the tendon is so weak, it tends to cause that joint to "droop" or "lag."  I don't really understand all the ins-and-outs of it, but if it begins to droop too much, it begins to put tension on other joints (not a good thing).  Unfortunately, over the last two or three weeks, the lag in the joint has increased enough that the doctor now considers surgery necessary.  Since tendons don't regrow, it is only going to become worse as time goes by.

This surgery is not currently urgent - as long as my finger joint is still mobile/I can still move it, there is no danger to my other joints.  They will take a bit of tendon from another tendon in my hand and graft it to the one in my finger.  I am tentatively planning to have the surgery this fall - simply so I can get it over and finally have done.   I need to do some planning and look at schedules and find out what time might work best.

To God be the glory, 

Great things He hath done!!

Day by Day

As I sit here in the relative silence and solitude of my house at midnight awaiting the arrival of my sisters (whose car broke down which has delayed their journey) I reflect on the reason which necessitated such a trip.

For several weeks now I have been attempting to write another post and yet somehow words would not come.  Even now as I sit here attempting to write once more, tears are streaming down my face.  Just when I begin to think I am done with tears, they return full force.

Troubled soul the Saviour can see

Every heartache and tear

Burdens are lifted at Calvary

Jesus is very near.

It has been a hard year in so many ways, but the last few weeks have been extremely difficult.  We learned that Grandpa had only months to live and before I even had time to process that (less than a week later) he had passed on.  Dad lost two lambs and I lost two lambs, one of which was my sweet little bottle baby.  I know it's silly, but I cannot help it; the sheep are my friends too.  My heart aches, my soul is weary, my hand and arm hurt, and I am just so tired.  But this I know: God is good and He will give grace and strength.

The following hymn has long been one of my favorites (for the sake of space I am leaving out parts of the verses, but if you are interested, you should definitely look it up).

Day by day and with each passing moment, 

Strength I find to meet my trials here

Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment 

I've no cause for worry or for fear...

Every day the Lord Himself is near me

With a special mercy for each hour

All my cares he fain would bear and cheer me

He whose name is Counselor and Pow'r...

Help me then in every tribulation

So to trust Thy promises oh Lord

That I lose not faith's sweet consolation

Offered me within Thy holy word...

And that is all I can say right now.  One final thought and then I shall go.  Even amidst the sorrow and difficulties of life, I will

Cling to Christ and marvel at the cost

Jesus forsaken, God estranged from God

Bought by such love, my life is not my own

My praise, my all shall be for Christ alone.

Hand Update

"The splendor of the King clothed in Majesty,

Let all the earth rejoice; let all the earth rejoice...

How great is our God; sing with me how great is our God

And all will see how great, how great is our God!"

I took my doggies (and two kitties who decided to join us) for a walk in the field this afternoon.

Every time I look upon our mountains, I am reminded of the majesty and the awe-inspiring greatness of our Creator.  I am humbled and deeply grateful that a God of such power and authority, greatness and majesty should love me - should deign to take notice of me: to work in my life.

"To God be the glory!

Great things He hath done!"

I had another doctor's visit this past week so it is time for another update.  As the doctor walked into the exam room, the first words out of his mouth were literally, "and here's my miracle patient."  My hand has come and continues to progress further than anyone ever thought possible after my injury.  I am thankful for all of the amazing and skilled doctors, nurses, therapists, and staff and everyone God has used to bring about the healing.  I am grateful that we serve a God of miracles who answers the prayers of God's people.



As for my hand: we are still holding off on scheduling another surgery.  It actually looks like we may be able to avoid the scar removal surgery entirely.  About my damaged tendon: the doctor says that to do surgery on it would require some pretty major reconstruction with no guarantee that the end result will be any better than it is now.  He says there is no harm in waiting to see how things settle in and how things continue to progress; but harm could occur by having the surgery too soon.


So regarding that finger, we are walking a delicate line between too much movement (the joint drooping because the tendon cannot support it which puts stress on the other joints in the finger) and being too stiff.  For now, we are just going to keep watching it and seeing how things go.

So for now, I continue with therapy 2x each week so that my fingers will continue to regain movement and will visit the doctor again in 8 weeks.



It has been a long year; please continue to pray for strength and endurance as well as safety in my travels.  The good news is: now that my fingers are straighter, my night-time splint does not bother me as much so I sleep somewhat better most nights.  The bad news is that because the finger splint does not keep me awake and in pain, but still is painful in the night, I quite frequently end up removing it in my sleep.



It has been rough, but God is good and God has a purpose even when I cannot see it.

"For I know that God makes no mistakes

There's a purpose in every change He makes

That others would see my life and know that God makes no mistakes."

The Sheep Have Returned

Fern and I are very excited and happy!  The sheep have finally come home again 😄  I am not sure if the sheep are happy about it (they probably enjoyed their vacation away from Fern), but I am very happy to have them back again.

[I was going to include a photo, but I cannot figure out how to add one from my tablet...]

This is going to be a short post as I am running short on words today.  Shocking, I know... For me to run short on words whilst typing is an event that seldom occurs.

I therefore will just leave you with another song:

Rejoice the Lord is KING

Your Lord and King adore, 

Rejoice, GIVE THANKS and sing and triumph evermore.

Regardless of what happens, regardless of our circumstances, God is still King and gives us reason to rejoice.  When all seems dark and hope is gone and then again when all is well (and the sheep are returned).

And Life Goes On...

Every blessing you pour out

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord... 

And blessed be Your name 

On the road marked with suffering 

Though there's pain in the offering

Blessed be Your name...

Well, it has been a long and difficult month for us.  The water is gone and the ground has dried out, but not all has been restored to "normal."  While I have been able to return to my home, my parents remain ousted from theirs.  

It is seems amazingly empty and desolate on the ranch: no parents, no parents' dog, no sheep.  I think this is more or less a mental state; it is not like I can actually hear my parents/dog/sheep from my house under normal circumstances.  I just know they are not there... It is a strange feeling.

On the other hand, inside my house has become a war zone: 3 invading cats and 1 home defender cat... Makes life interesting 😉

It is going to be quite a while yet before my parents can be restored to their home.  There will be lots of decisions to be made, finances to be considered, etc.  

I began this post with a song regarding the blessings of God; blessings which are evident even in the most difficult of circumstances.  Life is not easy, but God is good. 

• While we suffered losses and setbacks, there was no loss of (human) life
• I did not drown (even though I fell in the deep water at least 3 times... wet ice is VERY slick)
• No injuries or illness resulted
• We only lost 1/4 of the sheep which is miraculous all things considered
• We have awesome family members who have helped us in so many ways (including a place to stay for all of us... and yes that means the sheep too 😄)
• Friends and family who helped us rescue the remaining sheep the next day... and trust me, moving sheep through thigh-high water is NOT an easy task... 
• Friends and family not in the area have offered prayers and support
• Our AMAZING church family volunteered time, energy, and strength to travel miles to come and help us sort through and pack out my parents house (and help me save as much wool as possible)
• Even the timing; had I got home that day earlier than I had, we may not have noticed the rising water as early as we did
• And the small things: I did not develop an infection in the open wound in my foot (even though the water was absolutely disgusting).  I had accidentally run into a drill bit the day before (turns out that one should never leave a drill on the floor; even if it is out of the usual walkway)... 

And we know that all things work together for good, for them that love God and are the called according to His purpose.

We may not know or understand God's purposes in this situation, but we rely on the promises of God; His goodness, and His faithfulness.  We do not know and we may never know or understand, but we do know that God is always with us and will give us the strength to continue.

May this journey bring a blessing,

May I rise on wings of faith;

And at the end of my heart’s testing,

With Your likeness let me wake.

Photo courtesy of Ashley-Aron Hansen

By the grace of God we have survived; by the strength of God we will endure.

Home at last...

Great is thy faithfulness, Oh God my father...

Morning by morning new mercies I see

All I have needed thy hand hath provided.

Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.

Now that I finally have a minute to sit down, I wanted to provide another update regarding our flooding situation.  As you know, it has been a whirlwind of a week.

As the floodwaters began to recede, we were able to look around us and better assess the damage; to begin clearing out and drying out.  Unfortunately, with the diminishing of the water, we discovered the loss of 5 more sheep.  A quarter of our flock decimated by the flood.

I am tired and exhausted and we still have a daunting task before us, but I am grateful to be back in my home.  While I am most thankful for my aunt and uncle's hospitality welcoming me into their home while I waited for my water and propane to be turned back on, there truly is no place like home :)

The cats are relieved to have company again as well... Although they are most disturbed about being displaced from their own home... And my cat does not welcome the "invaders", but they will learn to get along eventually :)

Everything and everyone (especially the dogs and my parents' kitten) smells like grease and oil and the water is unpalatable, but it is good to be home nonetheless (when a ranch/farm with lots of machines/equipment/etc. floods, leaks are bound to occur).  And I can walk on dry ground again!

While I am grateful to be home again, it will still be some time before my parents will be able to return to their home.  In fact, at this point there is some doubt as to their course of action.  Will they try to repair their current home?  Start over?  Bring in manufactured housing?  Lots of decisions will need to be made in the coming days.

Thank you for your prayers, concern, and support for us during these difficult days!  We are most grateful for you and covet your continued prayers.  There will be much to do as we go on from here: cleaning up, drying out, and making difficult decisions.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. 

Because He lives, all fear is gone, 

Because I know He holds the future

And life is worth the living, just because He lives.

Flooding Update

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.  He ONLY is my rock and my salvation: he is my defense: I shall not be moved.  In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.  Trust in him AT ALL TIMES; yet people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us.  Psalm 62:5-7

This post is going to be a brief update; it has been a very long day (and last night was a very long night) and I am exhausted and sore; I think I have undone everything the chiropractor did on Tuesday (was that seriously only yesterday!?) and taxed my injured hand (not too bad though, so don't worry).  And can feel every muscle in my back and shoulders.

The water has begun to recede.  Before we left last night, the water inside my parents' house had reached approximately 20 inches and the outside water level was nearly up to my waist in places.  As of the last trip to their house today, there was little to no water standing inside their house and the outdoor water level had dropped significantly.  Still not enough, but progress nonetheless.

It is amazing the strength that water possesses.  My parents have a large chest freezer that was full of frozen foods... and was floating.  My large propane tank (not empty) is almost upside down.  So many run-away items...

Pray that the water continues to recede and that the rain in the forecast as well as continued warmer temperatures do not cause more snow to melt (beyond what the culverts can handle) and increase the water level again.

Most thankfully and gratefully, the sheep weathered the flood much better than we had anticipated; the majority of them survived!  At this point, we believe we only lost 7 of them.  With the help of family and a borrowed large 4-wheel drive tractor, we were able to rescue the remaining sheep from the two "islands" where they had gathered to be out of the majority of the flood waters.  Now as long as none develop pneumonia from being so very wet and cold...

As the water drains, the cleanup involved in my parents' home, in my wool mill, and in the yard and fields will be extensive.  In fact, there will be a number of decisions that will need to be made regarding my parents' house and the water damage that has resulted from this flood.

We have received many offers of assistance.  While we definitely appreciate the offers and the friendship and consideration that have prompted them, we are currently in a holding pattern as we wait for the water to drain and as decisions are made.  Hopefully soon the water will diminish and we will be able to form solid plans for the future.  We will definitely let you know.

As I have said so many times during this past year, God IS good.  He is still on His throne - He is King and will see us through.

"Rejoice the Lord is KING, your Lord and King adore.  Rejoice, give thanks and sing and triumph evermore."

Buried in Water

This photo was taken the morning after the flood.  At this point the water has begun to recede.

Flooding

It has been a very long time since I have blogged.  What a way to return to it.  My heart is aching tonight.

Natural disasters.  These are something that we see often on the news.  We hear about from others.  We mourn with those impacted, but until we are actually involved in one, there is no way we can feel the devastation, the heartache, the loss.

Oddly enough, I have always feared wildfires.  After all, we live in Nevada.  A desert with lots of dry vegetation and prone to wildfires.  So, to be done in by a flood is totally unexpected and a little ironic.  Having so much water now when the ground is frozen and there is nowhere for the water to go; and then come summer the ground will doubtless be parched and in desperate need of moisture.

My parents' house is flooded.  My house (being a mobile home not on a permanent foundation), is not yet flooded, but last I saw the water was still rising.  My mill is of course flooded.

I am weeping as I type this.  Not because of the things that are or may be lost.  Things can be dried out, replaced.  Yes, there are lots of things I would be sad to lose, but I can make do without.     It might take time and money, but there are very few things that cannot be replaced and fewer still that are necessary to live.

I weep tonight for the friends I have lost and will have lost by the time morning has come.  I won't name any names right now as I do not know who is gone; it will take a miracle for any of them to survive - I pray for a miracle.

Do not laugh.  These sheep really are my friends.  They have names.  I know who they are.  They have personalities. I will mourn them as much as if they had been my dogs, cats, or children.  They depended on us and we have failed them.

Tonight we are safe in the house of my aunt and uncle.  We won't know the extent of the damage until tomorrow; and maybe not then.

Those of you who have followed my blog in the past know that I usually have songs intertwined with my words; for once in my life I cannot think of a single song.

I will just say that I cling to Christ, to His promises and that is all I can do now.

Actually, I just thought of one:

When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand

Yet Another Update

I seriously need to get more creative with titles... But, creative title or not, herein follows an update I just sent out to my church prayer chain.

Hello again everyone! I had another doctor's appointment on Monday so I just wanted to send another update regarding the progress my hand continues to make toward healing and recovery.

    

The doctor continues to be encouraged and impressed by the progress my hand has made and continues to make with the therapy. Indeed, this time he called me the "poster child of hand injuries." One of the nurses came in to see my hand (she has been there from the start and saw the worst of it) and was amazed (I haven't seen her the last couple visits). She said that she has seen people with lesser injuries than mine never regain the level of use that I have at this point.

   

The bad news is that the doctor says I must continue to go to therapy 2x per week. He wants the progress to continue and not to stop or regress. As much as possible I will continue to keep my therapy days on Tuesday & Friday; so if you ever need anything from Twin let me know. I love running errands for people: it breaks up the monotony of my day

We still have not scheduled my next therapy. The doctor says we are still waiting for my hand to "settle in". We will continue to keep on eye on the finger with the damaged tendon (a couple of weeks ago the therapists had to make a splint to keep the joint from "drooping" - the good news is, that splint is just for support; it does not hurt).

     

Again I thank you for all of your prayers, concern, and support! Please do continue to pray for strength, endurance, consistency, and safety as I travel. This whole process is really starting to get old (I really want to have done), it gets harder and harder to do the exercises I am supposed to do every day (there are so many other things to do), sleeping is often difficult (painful finger-splint), and Twin is far away.

  

In case you are wondering, for the most part I have no pain in my fingers *:) happy Except at night when I am wearing my finger-splint. And right before Christmas during the day or two leading up to that really big storm. And at physical therapy.

    

God is always good and God is always up to something good (even when I don't know what that is). I rejoice in what He has done and continues to do

And with that I shall draw this to a close - it is getting late. My next doctor visit is 6 weeks from now so unless something drastic or major happens between now and then, I shall send another update 6 weeks hence.